two nights left at love kids

I am already getting a bit upset about leaving all the children on Sunday. They all came into my room tonight and we watched a film, read books and played games. I am going to miss them all greatly. Finnley said he wants to take Ebenzenzer home with us. I would quite like that too!

I am finding myself a little stressed about going home, back to reality and all the stress it brings. My real life is in the UK after all and I have a job to do, a household to run and bills to pay – but I am looking forward to seeing my family, friends and partner a lot.

Today I have just spent as much time with the children as possible, helping them with their chores so we can have some fun. I painted all their nails today and did the girls make up, they decided to do mine too – which turned out rather interesting!

Tomorrow I have organised a little feast, I gave comfort some money to buy their favourite foods of beans and rice with a nice sauce, as well as drinks and biscuits. I have made a pass the parcel and organised some other UK party games as well as bought all the children little gifts. They are all really excited about the party I hope they have fun. Finnley is very enthusiastic about it all too and helped me wrap their presents up. He has drawn them all pictures to keep too.

As hard as it was to leave behind my life in the UK, I think it will be even harder to leave these beautiful children behind.

Packing up

In just four days I will be leaving Love Kids Orphanage to begin the 48 hour journey by car, bus and plane back home to Guildford. I am so excited about seeing the family but starting to feel hugely saddened that I will not be able to see these children’s beautiful smiles every day.

This evening we all had a bit of a snuggle on my bed and watched a film. Most of the children fell fast asleep and I ended up carrying them all to their room. Something I had never noticed before is that they do not wear pyjamas; they have a bath before dinner and stay in those clothes until the following morning, where they bath again and get changed. Most of them only have two sets of clothes so Amada and Ama the two eldest girls spend the majority of their free time washing. I help them out as much as I can but the chemicals in the soap are so sharp and my hands get cut and start bleeding. If I were staying longer I am sure they would get used to the harsh soap though, it doesn’t seem to affect the natives.

Today Eric came round, who is now in charge of the academy out here, with the plans drawn up for the building where the orphanage and academy will share one site. It looks amazing but hugely ambitious and they are relying on me completely for funds. I promised them I would try my best, after all that is all I can do.  

Finnley is still loving life out here and wants to spend all his time with his friends; even showing them that he can use the toilet. They all find him highly amusing and all want me to leave him here when I go. He has really developed a lot here, everyone says how big he has got as well as so much more chatty. He is the ‘popular’ kid here so his confidence is clear to see. It makes me so happy to see him having fun with other children. Back at home I spend long hours at university so it is hard to meet other mums, especially my age so he does not meet many children either.

I started packing up my things today and thought it seemed unreal that I have spent seven and half weeks here. It feels now that it has flown by, however I have achieved everything that I came out here to achieve so I know I will leave in high spirits.  

Swimming (well almost)

Today we visited the beautiful Kintempo waterfall which is the central point of Ghana. Although the weather was slightly cooler today, Finnley and I still managed to have a dip in the pool at the bottom. He was not too keen on being in the water but loved looking at it and was adamant about climbing down and back up the 100+ steps to get to the pond at the bottom.

The children are very full on all the time – from the moment they wake until they go to bed. The older ones have chores to do during the day as they are not at school, such as cleaning and washing. Recently they have farmed hundreds of maize plants so we have all been busy taking the seeds (I think that is what they are called) by hand, in order for them to be dried and sold at the market.

One aspect that I am struggling with a little is that now it is my last week people seem to be asking me to find a way to “ask my town for help to pay for their children’s education”. People turn up at my door and ask for my number and email to which my response is blunt. I also feel slightly unappreciated at the orphanage, after spending six weeks out here they too are asking me not to forget them when I return to the UK in terms of fundraising. I am aware that the orphanage is in desperate need of sponsors however I think people feel that the streets of London are paved with gold, and maybe I have been a bit too ‘nice’ about how I will be able to continue to help them when I return. So I have told Francis fairly straight, that I will raise the initial £5,000 needed to found the Academy as an official UK charity, and he must raise an equal amount for the orphanage. This will allow them to buy land, build a huge academy and housing for the orphans, plus food, education, kits and balls. I will then take a back seat and organise a couple of events each year and to keep funding coming in. Hopefully he will understand that this dream is his and I will support him, but I cannot lead it – I have too many other commitments to work with.

This next week I want to enjoy the time I have left at the orphanage, we have run out of things like paper and pens so will have to come up with some imaginative games to play.  Hopefully I can give the kids one last week of fun!

The End is Near

I am very concerned about the behaviour of one little girl here, her name is Mary and she is between three and four years. She is a very beautiful child but her behaviour is worrying. She spends a huge amount of time by herself, normally in tears or beating the other children. However I have witnessed her playing with them a few times and she is happy and the other children respond to her. I realise it is very difficult for the mother and father of the orphanage to spend time with them all individually but I have spoken to them both quite openly about my concerns and they just say she is stubborn. Over the past day she has hit everybody and her punishment? Being hit; it seems ridiculous to me but as I have heard a thousand times “it is just the culture”. Tonight however nobody else was around and she hit Ebenenzer – Finnley’s best friend; instead of her being hit I sternly told her no and put her on the “step”, whilst continuing an exercise session with the children. She sat there for four minutes and then I told her if she apologised she could get off. No apology meant staying put (and the rest of the orphanage putting up with her tormenting screams), eventually after half an hour she apologised and was then allowed to join in. To me this seems a better way of dealing with an angry child – anger + anger just will not teach them anything. I will try to implement this with her over the next two weeks and if she reduces the violence I will be proud.

Every day I take Finnley plus two children on a long walk, normally we end up at Hand in Hand community where there is a rusty park and paddling pool. I let them decide who is going – at first they all argued about coming but then the older children realised that by volunteering to go last they still have their trip to look forward too, when the others have already had their ‘go’. We try to end up in Hand and Hand when the children there are napping as I found it fairly difficult to explain to my children that the children there are not ‘normal’. It is nice to get some individual time with the children and to get away from the orphanage for a couple of hours, where it is so full on morning  until night.

Although the days are long now and can be stressful I have to leave in just over a week so am trying to make the most out the last few days for Finnley and for myself; and obviously support the children as much as possible.

1,008 hours

I love my son dearly, but have spent every minute of every day (and night) of every week for the past six weeks with him, sharing everything from a fork to a pillow – it has been intense to say the least. Since being in Ghana the bond between has strengthened greatly and this is only one of the positive and wonderful experiences we have both been through.

With just 14 days remaining here my mentor received his UK visa, which he had been waiting for for years, leaving me feeling slightly isolated and nervous about being here with just his mother and father to turn to. I needn’t have been worried; since he has left the entire atmosphere of the orphanage has been so relaxed and exciting. His father is taking Finnley and I to a famous waterfall at the weekend where we can swim in the pool, so we are both looking forward to that.

The children broke up from school so are around from when they wake up – usually about 5am until bedtime at 9pm. It is a long day for me, seeing as I also have to attend training with the football team as well as find sponsors for the academy. By evening time I am exhausted and Finnley and I read a couple of stories and go to sleep at the same time, in the same bed with the same pillow.

Every evening consists of exercise with the children, they love it. Nobody has ever trained with them before and physical education at school just consists of jumping and running in which they recite “we are jumping...we are running.” But press ups and planks are a whole new and exciting world for them. During the day I teach maths, English and science to them as well as doing art. Painting and jewellery making are their favourite activities – it allows them to be messy and creative, which they aren’t usually allowed to be. I have also started taking a few of them on walks, they enjoy to get out of the orphanage for a few hours. Luckily the weather has been overcast and fairly cool the past couple of weeks so getting sun burnt is not an issue for Finnley.

The food here is getting a bit boring after 6 weeks – Finnley will only eat tuna, bread and pasta and obviously things like biscuits. I found a little shop which sold powered milk and cereal so he is enjoying that now too – although I hope not too much as it was very expensive. I eat a lot of yams, rice and beans – they use a huge amount of oil in their cooking as well as chillies and salt, so it probably is not the healthiest cuisine bit it tastes good.

I have bonded with every child here in different ways, Mary a little girl from Northern Ghana spends the majority of the time crying but has a beautiful smile. Angela likes to have lots of possessions so asks for clothes, bracelets and biscuits but she is very affectionate too. Ebenezer likes to be close to me all the time and is incredibly good with Finnley; if I was to continue explaining how much I adore them all it would take a long time. After seeing them every day for 6 weeks I am definitely going to miss them when it is time to go.

In the next two weeks I hope to spend as much time with the children at the orphanage as possible as I know when I leave they will not get attention until the next volunteer comes. I want to sit down and talk to them about their dreams and see if I can help them achieve them in any way, unfortunately it is probably financial help they require and I cannot provide that, but when I return to  the UK I will see what funds I can raise for them.

A mother of one this morning, a mother of 12 this evening

Today I took the role of mother, chef, teacher, washer and friend of the 10 children at the orphanage (plus Finnley obviously), unfortunately Comfort had to take one of the children to hospital and they have to stay overnight. Having sole responsibility for these children is utterly exhausting, I have a huge amount of respect for Comfort.

Finnley wanted a day inside today, watching films and reading books, this is fine with me – I struggle being around so  many over excited children all day, every day – so a two year old must find it overwhelming.

Finding one thing that all the children enjoy doing and that is also suitable for their age group is difficult, but exercise, or “training” as they call it is always good. We do something different every day for about an hour – lots of step ups are always involved and it normally exhausts them so they go to bed a little earlier; which Comfort is always grateful for. Something else that seemed to entertain them all that we did today is bracelet making – I bought some beads from Hand in Hand and some string and thread from the market and although they struggled to make them all themselves, they enjoyed handing me the beads and each having their own bracelets on that they had designed.

Tonight I cooked them pasta in a white sauce, with vegetables and mackerel – they loved it. They never have pasta and I could not believe how much they could eat. They all had huge portions then had second helpings too. Even though it was spaghetti and I offered them cutlery – they ate in with their right hands – completely unable to manage a spoon or fork. Finnley however has developed a need to use a fork for every food imaginable – from bread to bananas – so this is a habit I’m going to have to stop before we head home in two weeks.

All these children are very special to me, and it is going to be incredibly hard saying goodbyes when it is time to leave.

17 days left...

Today has been one big struggle. That is the only way to describe it. Finnley has been misbehaving, I have no money as the bank have blocked my card and therefore no credit on my phone to get any support from family; the children however have been wonderful and make me smile all the time I am around them.

Francis has now left to live in the UK and his father had to go to Accra, the capital for a couple of days, leaving me with just Comfort for adult communications. She is one of the most amazing females I have met, however cannot speak English – which makes our conversations rather laboured!

Today was spent doing a big wash with the girls at Love Kids (Finnley somehow dirties all his clothes in a couple of days), then I met with the coach to have a chat about the way he trains the academy. I expressed how vital it is that he does not beat the children as punishment for misbehaving or being late  - but to give them additional exercises. He agreed that this is the correct approach.

I was feeling a bit stressed about things as well as homesick so Finn and I went on a little walk to buy biscuits for everyone. I love him to pieces but we have spent every minute or every day together for the past 6 weeks, sharing everything from a pillow to a fork – it has been some pretty intense mother-son time to say the least! On our walk we met a remarkable boy whom due to a fall during his mothers pregnancy, which also lead to her death, it also meant he has never been able to feel his legs. He therefore lives on crutches (wheelchairs are too costly and the terrain in Nkoranza is rough), he is 16 years old now and his father has recently passed away due to aids. He has not been educated and cannot do manual labour due to the lack of function in his legs and therefore has no hope of getting out of the poverty he is in. But he smiles. All the time he smiles and it is wonderful, he says he has siblings that love him and appreciates every day, he is an inspiration; and i felt rather foolish for feeling stressed about everything I have to sort out on return to the UK. He made me stop self pitying and re-appreciating my opportunity to experience Ghana for the small amount of time I have remaining here.

Yesterday I went over to Hand in Hand to collect the volunteers staying there and brought them to Love Kids, they were shocked at the huge contrast between where they were staying and here. The children here have no space and half of them sleep on the hard floor, all 10 in one small room. In hand and hand 3 stay in a room with beds in. The children loved seeing more white people and  spoke to them about their school graduation, which I attended on Thursday. Graduation for me was a long, boring day of speeches by the headmaster, pastor, PTA members, education officer etc etc all in Twi – so I could not understand a word. It was only when the children graduation (and Amada did not because she has a stutter) and Ebonenzer did his poem that I enjoyed it. I was so proud of them all – we have all developed such a close bond.

Its Saturday night at quarter past seven here, the youths of the UK are probably getting ready to go out and get drunk, me...I am leading an exercise session for the children and women of the town then getting an early night. The latter is most definitely my preferred option right now. I have learnt a new gratitude of my health and body since I have been out here and I plan to take it back with me to the UK.

South downs Living Blog

o    Standing in the long green grass the hot afternoon sun warming my face, I am watching the children of LOVE KIDS FOOTBALL ACADEMY training and knowing that I have helped make this happen, I am genuinely happy. Then BAM out of no-where a shooting pain goes up my leg, screaming in agony I hit the floor, something had bitten me.

Realising I had no credit on my phone, no ability to get money as my card had been blocked by the bank as they thought it was fraud, a team of children around me that spoke very limited English and my two year old son whom was panicking profusely, I felt rather scared. I picked myself up, tied Finnley onto my back and ran to the orphanage where they assured me that if it was a snake somebody would have seen it; but would take me to hospital to make sure. So the entire family came with me, which I was grateful for and the bite ended up being from a poisonous ant, which my body should be able to fight the toxin so no medication was needed..

Aside from the excitement of revisiting the hospital, the past week has been slightly hectic. The football academy has had lots of interest from the youths of the town and training occurs at 6-830 in the mornings and 3.30-6 in the evenings. Along with attempting to get some sponsorship and second hand equipment I have also still been trying to pay as much attention as possible to the children at the orphanage. I feel like I have bonded with all of them, but in the last week I have spoken a lot to the eldest girl whom is 12. The whole orphanage speak highly of her, she is very hard working and was very shy to start with. I have helped her with her English and made jewellery with her whilst the others were sitting their school exams, and she really is a beautiful young lady.

Tomorrow is graduation and unfortunately due to other family commitments no one is able to go and see the children celebrate passing their school year and moving up to another. Therefore Finnley and I are going along to support them, it is at a hotel and Ebonenzer has been asked to do a speech to parents and carers. We have been practising it a lot today and it involves a poem called “whisper whisper whisper”. He told me today that all students HAVE to speak in English at school otherwise they will get beaten, all the children seem good at the language so it is obviously an effective way of learning.

I have spent some more time at Hand in Hand community too, where the children have mental difficulties, they all know us there now and welcome us with smiles and cheers which is just lovely. We purchased some beads from there and string from the market, so have been making necklaces and bracelets back at the orphanage. Some of the volunteers at Hand in Hand are coming to Love Kids Orphanage on Friday to meet the children .They will see the vast difference between the care home they are staying at which is modern and here, which due to lack of funding is very squashed and provides limited opportunities for the children.

Finnley is continuing to have an amazing time and has learnt the majority of the children’s names, how to dress himself, counting up to 30 and the alphabet since he has been here; which for a two year old I think is impressive. His speech has also developed by speaking to the children all the time, so other than having a fun time, he has a lot learnt a huge amount in his time in Ghana.

I am really enjoying Nkoranza and seeing that my efforts are now helping the children around me is wonderful. I only have three weeks remaining and have many things yet to see and do; hopefully another trip to the hospital will not be one of them.

Shocked and dissapointed ...

For the past five weeks I have been through a massive range of emotions, but today for the first time I was genuinely disturbed about something I witnessed. To observe this horrific behaviour was deeply hurtful and I had to remove myself and Finnley from the situation.

A little girl aged 18months lives with her parents in the room next to the one I am currently sleeping in, she is closely related to the ‘parents’ of the orphanage and shares the garden with all the children. I had some crisps I was sharing with the children – and I ensure that they all receive equal amounts otherwise all hell breaks loose. The little girl had some too, however after promptly finishing hers demanded more from the packet – when I refused she hit me and screamed. Her father came over and ordered Anastacia, whom lives within the orphanage to give the little girl one of her crisps that she had been consuming slowly. She obliged.

Seconds later, the little girl bit Anastacia’s stomach whom started weeping before being repeated hit by the little girl. Anastacia turned around a started hitting back, the older children as well as the adults around starting cheering excitedly as two beautiful small children beat each other up. I found it horrendous to watch and obviously both girls ended up in tears. I realise that the culture is different here but that is wrong in my opinion that is wrong in every culture. Since I spoke to the children at the orphanage about not beating each other, I have hardly seen anyone hitting anyone; obviously things cannot change instantly and there are still some situations that are easily resolved by asking them to apologise to each other. I am terrified that Finnley will pick up on the hitting, the last thing I want is a bully as a child. Luckily he has learnt well and if anyone hits he shouts “No hitting, that’s enough”, the fact that his voice presents itself in such a high pitch that nobody but me can understand is rather entertaining in itself, but at least he knows his right from wrongs.

Today was boiling hot, the first day it has not been overcast since I have been here. Finnley found the heat too much so we stayed inside with the children doing finger painting and lots of reading. I bought about 10 books over here and could easily recite them all with my eyes shut now.

It is market day tomorrow and we will be going with comfort to purchase some beautiful lace that I saw last time as well as elastic and beads to make bracelets with the children. Although I am slightly unsure whether it will be worth the hassle and they seem to massively appreciate everything at the time then dismiss it later on. I bought them all pens last week and most of them have lost them, Francis explained its pointless giving them toys as they just pull the heads off dolls and burst footballs with a blade, similarly with new cloths, they do not treasure them but ruin them quickly. There are obviously a lot of behavioural issues here that would be dealt with in the UK by counselling or similar but here the finances nor resources are available.  

It is hard to get messages across to the children due to the language barrier, but they understand emotions very well, so hopefully the beatings will reduce and the appreciation of belongings increase as they get older.